Frequently Asked Questions

This is a common assumption, but a dangerous one.  While Retrouvaille covers all stages of a marriage, including crisis or misery, many attending couples come proactively before problems arise.  We even have newlyweds come on our weekends to learn tools that can help them assure they have the best tools to keep their marriages strong.  In fact, one of the most common comments we receive from couples that attended while in crisis, is that they wish they had attended years before.

Yes.  You will only have to provide a credit card to the hotel for incidentals if you desire.  We pay a flat per-couple rate to the hotel that covers all rooms and meals.  This fee does not cover our costs for the weekend, so we will ask for anyone willing to make voluntary and anonymous donations at the end of the weekend to help cover our costs. 

Once you register, we are contractually obligated to the hotel for your room and food for the full amount of your registration.  For this reason, we cannot refund registration fees if you cancel or do not show up.

Privacy is paramount for us. Our attending couple’s names are not shared with any other organizations, parties, or individuals outside the Retrouvaille Community for any reason whatsoever. In fact, only your first name will be used throughout the weekend. Sharing anything more than this will be completely up to you.

Most people who divorce their spouse would say “I just don’t love him or her anymore.” They think this means that love has ended. What it really means is that the romantic version of love that attracted the two of you to each other in the beginning has ended.

The romance stage of almost every marriage relationships will end at some point as the relationship grows and transitions. If they are being honest, people in wonderful marriages will admit that they just don’t live in romantic bliss forever, but rather go through hot and cold periods during the course of the relationship.

In strong marriages, the romance stage of the marriage transitions to a more mature, deeper type of love. Some couples are able to do this naturally, but most struggle with disillusionment and misery for far too long before seeking help.

Many couples come to the Retrouvaille program specifically because they have been unable to transition to this mature, deeper type of love. A very specific form of communication is taught in the program that will help you make that transition, even if things seem desperate.

Please do your best to convince your spouse to understand the value in attending. You have already invested a great deal of time and energy in your marriage, so giving a weekend of your time is a small investment. Try to assure them that there is nothing to lose by attending, only positive results for your marriage. If possible, print out some information from this website, or get them to read it online. You may also want to us for ideas. The program is designed for both husband and wife to attend.

Only the two of you can help your marriage. Retrouvaille will teach you a set of skills that, if used properly, will help you get on the right track and stay there. We ask that you show up with the mindset that you want to work on your relationship, no matter what state it is in. You will need to put forth the effort, and leave the past in the past as you focus on the future.

What we do know is that attending the Retrouvaille is very effective for improving marriages. More than three out of four couples attending the program that were considering divorce are still married at the five-year mark and are enjoying a more fulfilling and loving relationship. This includes couples that were divorced, separated, and had extremely challenging circumstances.

Unfortunately, we are unable to provide childcare services for the weekends, and it is important that nobody else is in your room, as that will be a place for you to have private discussions relating to the sessions throughout the weekend.

It is saddening to know that many couples don’t know about Retrouvaille. We often say it is the best kept secret for marriage and there may be several reasons for it.

  • It is surely not an easy name to spell, pronounce, or remember.
  • Retrouvaille is a grass-roots, non-profit program. As a non-profit organization, we simply do not have large advertising budgets the way for-profit companies do. Most people that attend Retrouvaille have heard about it from a referral or online search.
  • Many people do not seek out Retrouvaille until their marriage is in serious trouble. So when they initially have problems, many seek out traditional marriage counselors, or they try to work out their own problems before they seek out the Retrouvaille Program.
  • People tend to talk about their successes, not their failures. Most of us do not like to discuss marital problems. Some people perceive marriage-help programs as a sign of failure. Therefore, no matter what program they participate in, it’s not something they want to talk about. In fact, it is very common that couples that attend Retrouvaille end up learning of other friends and family that have done the same, but never said anything.

Please dress comfortably and casually. We want you to feel comfortable so you can focus on your marriage. However, keep in mind that the conference room may get chilly when the air conditioning is on, so you may want to bring a sweater, pullover, or light jacket. That said, we do ask that couples refrain from wearing any clothing that may be a distraction to other couples. This includes provocative clothing, or any clothing that promotes specific causes or political beliefs.

There is a Mass or devotional service offered Saturday morning and a closing Mass or devotional service Sunday afternoon. All Couples are invited to participate in these religious services, though attendance is optional.

In most cases, the clergy member is a priest and Mass is offered. However, on CMD (Christian Multi Denominational) weekends, a Christian minister and spouse take the place of the priest on the presenting team, and a devotional service is offered in place of Mass.

Whatever your personal faith, you are welcomed and embraced and attendance is voluntary, of course.

This is not a problem at all. The services are voluntary, and do not affect the flow of the program at all. It is very common for some couples not to attend the services. Some couples do find they are open to the spiritual dimension of the program once they arrive, and others do not.  The program is primarily about your reltionship, not any religious doctrine.

This is a Christian program that reaches out to couples of all faiths or no faith at all.  Regardless of the faith affiliation of the attending pastor, there is no preference based on religious beliefs.  If there is a Catholic priest, they re merely sharing their experience with married couples. If it is a protestant pastor, they are doing exactly the same. 

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